Happy But Terrified

I am writing this piece not because Valentines day is just about to come. I mean, I have never even celebrated this occasion in my life, and I don't think it would be different this year.

In the past few days or weeks, I have noticed this awkward feeling whenever I am with you. To be honest, I already forgot how to feel like this, and it has been ages since I felt it. I might have felt this a few months back, but I know that it's going to be impossible to push through because we're totally in two different worlds. This time, it's different, we're together almost all day, and everyday, and as much as I don't want to, I really don't have a choice. In other words, we're on the same boat.

I am feeling this again. I think i am falling. Those times when I wish I could just tell you this and won't worry about the world. It's crushing me deep inside to the point that I wish it would stop, but on the contrary, I am loving this feeling as well. It hurts me that I know that there's going to be no way that this would push through, :(

I am happy when I am with you. I wish that I can be with you all the time and that when we're together, I wish that I could just easily tell that I am falling now, but I am terrified.
I remember, whenever I felt this way, there's just one song that I would be associating with this 'event' in my life. It's just me.

Right now, I don't know what to do. I am thinking over you, since day 1, and I have been jealous, stoked when I see you, and I am with you.  However, it really hurts me of the impossible possibilities of this. I am crying right now knowing this is not going to work.

I am happy yet I am hurting, cause I am terrified.

You, by the light
Is the greatest find
In a world full of wrong
You're the thing that's right

Finally made it through the lonely
To the other side

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only life

And this could be good
It's already better than that
And nothing's worse
Than knowing you're holding back

I could be all that you need
If you let me try

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only

I only said it 'cause I mean it
I only mean 'cause it's true
So don't you doubt what I've been dreaming
'Cause it fills me up and holds me close whenever I'm without you

You set it again, my heart's in motion
Every word feels like a shooting star
I'm at the edge of my emotions
Watching the shadows burning in the dark

And I'm in love
And I'm terrified
For the first time and the last time
In my only