I am tired pretending that i am okay. I am already tired showing everything is fine when in fact my heart is tormenting.
It's crazy. I don't remember being like this in my life. Is this how is it going to be. Now I am asking myself if moving out would make any difference. I am not sure if I am going to be okay after this week.
I am not sure if other people would understand and if anybody would even care to understand. I am sure i am going to be judged whatever decision i make. It's hard that you can't express how you feel and it's even harder that you're the only one who knows about it. It's difficult.
It's suicidal. I wanna die now so that i can't feel the pain. I wish I can just sleep and wake up without all this. It's like you're being tortured slowly and that you're being crucified and all the agony that we have on earth are thrown at you.
Simply put, this pain, i am enduring right now is keeping me frbeing myself.
I don't know what to do anymore. How do you fall out of love? I want to go back when everything seems like normal. I want to go back when i can just talk to you without feeling nothing. I want to go back when I won't pretend that everything's okay.
I hate it. I hate this feeling. I hate mrself for being like this. You have no idea how I an trying to fight this. I can't fight this feeling and I am not sure where I am going with this. It's unfair for the others I know, but what can Indo. I hope they understand.
I am not sure how long will i be like this. It could be a week after, a month or two, or probably longer.
Ang sakit sakit lang talaga. T_T
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