I was at it again.
While I am on my way home, I dropped by Galleria for a while. I thought I need to eat or drink or something. I had no decent meal the past day; cause I had lost my appetite. I was surprised to hear my phone beep.
It was you.
In all honesty, I did not expect it, that quick. I even thought that this gap might take a while. A week, a month, or who knows, it could take forever. Please know that I am really sorry from letting you down again. I am the most stupid person to act that way. I guess you've probably seen me at my worst. I appreciate the effort to message me; in spite of the fact that you're scared of me. You know I won't ever hurt you. You should know that. I appreciate it so much that you've sent me a message after coming from. I know that you were very tired and all yet you took the effort to message me.
I was surprised. Thank you for comforting me.
I am really sorry for everything to everyone, and to you. I know I have promised to you that I won't be like this but I failed you again. After our conversation; it was all coming back to me just like that. All the wasted opportunities to be with you and the rest. All wasted "memories" that I could be with you. I felt so guilty and nothing is worse than feeling it and you cannot do anything about it. It was all too late. You know that I feel so guilty about what happened until right now. I don't know how long will it last. It could take a while.
I realized, the other gem told me while I was on my way home. Choose to be happy, even for that moment and create memories while you're still with them, and while you're still with that person you love.
You are so damn right. I am just so weak and I wish I am that strong.
I wish I am strong, but I am not. I am just so weak and I am just so bad to let all the people around me down,
I know it's too late but I am really sorry. :(
I want to make it up with you but I don't know how.
I guess I just have to endure the fact that I screwed up big time, for the nth time.
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