It's been a while since I have visited my blog. Ironically, I should have been visiting this and post my random thoughts ever since some changes happened this year.
I guess we are just going back to the drawing board right now. It is utterly insane to write here again because it is my birthday. 
Yeah, it is my birthday.
Honestly, it feels like an ordinary day. Even if you've gotten used to this set up every year, it doesn't change the fact that there's this emptiness inside you. There's this sadness inside you that makes this day, not happy. I am not sure if I'd ever get used to it. You see, you'd never get used to being lonely, or being sad.
I decided to deactivate my Facebook account since I don't like the attention especially in the office but it was a failure, as Workday has literally spilled it for my boss to know. So the wave that I handle surprised me with a birthday cake, in the pantry.
I was really shocked and so ashamed that time that several people were looking at me in the pantry. I wanted to walk out but I thought that might not be a good idea, so I quickly dismissed it.
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. However, I have come to this realizations that I haven't really made or created good relationships with other people. I just wish I have some family that I can celebrate this occasion with, just like the others.
I honestly felt alone today.
I don't know. There is something lacking.
I guess the best thing that happened today was me being greeted by my best friend. He's not the type that remembers dates and occasions like this, cause he even forgets his parents' birthday, and for him to first greet me today, I felt like, I was special. I wasn't even expecting that he'd greet me immediately. Thank you for not making my birthday, that lonely. I was happy to see your message. You are one of the most important people in my life and you know that. 
As I write this piece, another year for me has gone by, and another journey to whatever has just started. Good luck to me.
Next year, I am hoping that I'd be celebrating my birthday in my new crib. :)
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