Happy Birthday!

It's been a while since I have visited my blog. Ironically, I should have been visiting this and post my random thoughts ever since some changes happened this year.

I guess we are just going back to the drawing board right now. It is utterly insane to write here again because it is my birthday. 

Yeah, it is my birthday. 

Honestly, it feels like an ordinary day. Even if you've gotten used to this set up every year, it doesn't change the fact that there's this emptiness inside you. There's this sadness inside you that makes this day, not happy. I am not sure if I'd ever get used to it. You see, you'd never get used to being lonely, or being sad.

I decided to deactivate my Facebook account since I don't like the attention especially in the office but it was a failure, as Workday has literally spilled it for my boss to know. So the wave that I handle surprised me with a birthday  cake, in the pantry. 

I was really shocked and so ashamed that time that several people were looking at me in the pantry. I wanted to walk out but I thought that might not be a good idea, so I quickly dismissed it.

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the gesture. However, I have come to this realizations that I haven't really made or created good relationships with other people. I just wish I have some family that I can celebrate this occasion with, just like the others.

I honestly felt alone today. 

I don't know. There is something lacking.

I guess the best thing that happened today was me being greeted by my best friend. He's not the type that remembers dates and occasions like this, cause he even forgets his parents' birthday, and for him to first greet me today, I felt like, I was special. I wasn't even expecting that he'd greet me immediately. Thank you for  not making my birthday, that lonely. I was happy to see your message. You are one of the most important people in my life and you know that. 

As I write this piece, another year for me has gone by, and another journey to  whatever has just started. Good luck to me.

Next year, I am hoping that I'd be celebrating my birthday in my new crib. :)

The Script Live In Manila Experience!

So I am writing this still on a high after that wonderful experience I had last night.

It was surreal.

I guess that's the way to describe it. That feeling of happiness, joy, and euphoria and that you can't even fathom what experience you've had. It was super!

Initially, I was already thinking twice to go as I had to go from work to the venue. I was kinda tired already and I had no good sleep before that. It did not help that the lounge would have to be closed at 2 in the afternoon, and so I had to stay in the pantry to kill time. I left the office around 5pm and decided to just go knowing that this is just going to be rare experience that I just did not have to miss. In addition, the ticket price is something we can't just put to waste. I was nervous and anxious and I am not sure what to expect. It's going to be my first time to watch a concert as huge as this but I am pretty stoked about it.

I got there 2 hours early than call time. The event was to start at 8pm. It was crazy. Colton Avery from Phoenix AZ started the show as Front act; followed by our very own Silent Sanctuary. Can you believe it? How lucky can I be? I got to hear my favorite song "Sa'yo" and they did it. Wow!

After a couple of minutes, The Script fans exploded as Danny, Glenn, and Mark came out at the back with all the flags in green, singing "Painting the town Green". Screams and shouts are the only sounds you could hear from the audience while the band sang their way from the back to the stage.

Highlights:

1. The grand entrance I think was awesome. It was a pretty upbeat song. Paint the Town Green.
2. When they sang their smash hit "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" in the B stage at the back.
3. For the First time - one of my favorite songs of the band
4. When we thought it was the last song they would sing, and the crowd was still singing "oohhhhhhh"
5. Front act Silent Sanctuary performed "Sa'yo"

6. Superheroes
7. When they performed "Nothing" and Danny called one of the audience's Ex
8. When Danny went from the Stage B to the lower box area.
9. Breakeven song - another favorite
10. The encore

 and a lot more!

All I want was to experience but I got more of that. It was an amazing experience. I guess this is not going to be the last concert I would attend to. Definitely!

Future Soulmate

“Dear Future Soulmate, 

I’m clingy, but I’ll never admit it. I’ll check my phone every 5 minutes to see if you’ve replied to something I’ve drafted numerous times in my head. I’ll get anxious when you don’t answer me back for a long time, and I’ll think to myself maybe you’ve had enough of me. Yet when your message finally comes, it doesn’t matter what you’ve said because the simple act of replying assures me that you’re still mine. At least, for the time being it will. 

I’ll get jealous a lot, but please don’t misconstrue it as me tying you down. I won’t get jealous because I want you all to myself, no. I want you to be able spend time with family, friends, and everyone else in between. I’ll get jealous because maybe, just maybe you’ll find something special in someone else, as you did with me. I’ll be weary that maybe you’ll look at someone just as how you look at me, or your heart will begin to wander somewhere else. 

I’m insecure, and it’s of no fault of your own. When I say something a little negative about myself, it’s not a cry for attention nor is it me wanting you to disagree with me. It’s me just being me. Before you, I’ll probably never imagine in a million years that you’d be mine. So by virtue of the fact that we’re together makes me even more insecure. But let me make something clear, I won’t be bagging on myself all the time. I know what talents I possess, what I excel in, the aspects in my physique that work in my favor, and so on. I’m just more vocal on the things which fall in the opposite categories. 

I’ll possess many faults, and I’m not looking for you to fix them. I think when I finally meet you, I’ll be more accepting of these faults than I am now. All I’m asking is that you accept them with me.

I know this letter seems to be focusing on the negative things about me, and it’s quite a bit to take in… so let me make a change of pace. 

I’ll always love you. When we’re finally acquainted, and we finally begin to personify the definition of love for one another, I’ll never need another definition. I’ve told myself countless times that I would never cheat on someone because I know what that feels like. I’ll love you more than I love myself and I know that isn’t too great but that’s just how I am. I’m going to fall in love with the way your smile dances across your face every time you see me, I’ll fall in love with the way you lose yourself in the things you love, I’ll fall in love with the way your voice fluctuates depending on how you’re feeling, I’ll fall in love with the way you say my name, and I’ll most definitely fall in love with so much more. I’ll study everything about you, I’ll remember the slightest details about you and your life. I’ll know what you look like when you’re upset without you having to say a word, I’ll know how you like your coffee in the morning, I’ll know how long it takes you to get ready before we go out, I’ll know most of the trivial things about you and the rest I’ll learn along the way. I pray you’ll be able to do the same as well. 

If you’re still reading, and you haven’t run away… I’ll probably be sitting across from you looking insanely nervous and insecure. I’d be sitting with my legs folded under me on the chair anxiously waiting for your reaction. On top of that I’ll probably be ready to burst into tears of happiness or tears of sadness. 

So to end this letter, which my actual soulmate will read once the time comes… I’d like to say thank you. Thank you for giving me a reason to live again, thank you for proving to me that love really is meant for me, and thank you for being my reason to be alive. 

Love, Your Future Soulmate”

Seventh Son

I was already at home when I decided to ask my good friend if we could watch a movie, After an hour, I read his reply, and said yes.

So we met after my shift. We decided to watch Seventh Son, but we had to wait after an hour. Screening was at 2pm and we were there an hour earlier. We decided to have our lunch in KFC. We had some chitchat and all and found out something interesting from him, It was about what he found out recently. I am not just gonna put it here for confidentiality reasons.

Seventh Son.

We were choosing between this and Night at the Museum 2, but we haven’t seen the first Ben Stiller film so we agreed to watch this. For those who like action fantasy adventure, this is for you. I am not really a fan of long storytelling and narration but it has to be there, the action scenes would have to wait until the middle to the last part. Thomas Gray was the seventh son obviously, and is the apprentice of McGregory. I liked the scene when Julian Moore and her sister, in a form of dragons, were fighting from the ground till they reached the skies. It goes to show how a mother would protect her children from any harm. You have to watch the movie for you to know what I am talking about.

We watched it in 3D and I wasn’t really amazed in the movie, but it was okay. I’ll give it a 7 out of 10

I had a great fun catching up with my friend. Till next time!

Kubot

I had mixed expectations about Kubot. Well, for starters, I am not a fan of Filipino horror films, because, at some point, they’re bordering between horror and well, comedy. Sometimes, you can’t even distinguish what genre these Pinoy horror films belong to. So, with that being said, I had lowered down my expectations to something decent. The reason I decided to watch this instead of the other films, was because I got curious with how our films deliver in terms of special effects. It got me curious when I was able to watch the trailer a month ago in the cinema.

I decided to watch a movie before my 3-day hiatus ends. Yup, tomorrow, would be my first work day for the year 2015.

Well, the verdict, it’s inconsistent. I thought that there were instances that I was like, “oh okay”, that was good, at least in my taste. Those women with huge fuzzy hair and all were pretty decent. Then again, there were instances that the effects were inconsistent all throughout. In addition, the effects would have been better had the action scenes somehow blended well with it. I thought the action scenes were one of the loop holes. I was expecting more with scenes but instead, it turned out to be cartoon-ish, and not believable for me. The actors weren’t effective to me in terms of those fight scenes. Maybe because the slow-mo effects were dominant but more so, these scenes could have been highlighted more especially that this movie was sold to the moviegoers with a serious tone. I felt like the comedic scenes were mostly the things that would be left out of the memories of people when they get out of the cinemas. Read. Lotlot de Leon was brilliant.
Save for De Leon and Marquez, the rest was just average. Dantes would have shown more depth in terms of acting, but it was just okay. Daza, who’s fairly new into acting, did not deliver for me. For an “aswang”, she was too soft when she was doing her action scenes.

All in all, expectations became higher than mediocre, and so I was somehow disappointed. It’s promising, but that was just it. Maybe they can redeem themselves, on the 3rd installment, with Marian Rivera perhaps on the lead role as villain. Ooops, spoiler alert. Better find out then.
I am not a film critic, I am just a normal moviegoer who just wants to voice my opinion. :)

Goodbye 2014, Hello 2015!

So in 11 minutes, we will be saying goodbye again to another year and welcome a new one. I hate these times of the year, when everyone gets to enjoy celebrating with the people they love. This is why sometimes, it's better to celebrate the new year if I have work and had to be in the office. At least, I am preoccupied and that I would never think about being alone. 


Yup, it's just so sad to be alone in life. While you know that you have some few friends,  of course you can't really rely on them because they also have their lives to attend to. Sometimes you ask yourself if you're going to be like this every year, or will there a time that you'd be happy celebrating these important occasions with someone dear to you.

While everyone is celebrating perhaps outside; I am here inside my room, just playing some loud music; trying to celebrate life and the new year. It really is frustrating and sad. I know that I am still fortunate because other people might be dealing with a more tragic story; yet I can't help but still wish to have  a better new year in the future.

2014 is perhaps one of the most challenging years for emotionally. I've gained new friends but I think lost a lot this year. A lot has changed from the last 3 years and all you really need to do is just accept the fact that nothing really lasts forever. I have had several regrets this year. Somehow I learned to cherish every bit of memory you can while it is still there, because you would never know if there would still be next time.

So it is 2015, and I am expecting more changes in the next few months. Some would leave and I do not know if that someone would stay. Oh well, I am just going to cross the bridge when I get there, I hope I would be able to survive.

Anyways, happy new year everyone. Cheers to a more awesome 2015. I am gonna list down my 2015 bucket list later. Cheers!

Envious Time of the Year

So I have been browsing all the social media platforms since last night, and I feel so envious of those people who were spending their time with their families. I miss the time when my parents were still alive. I miss the time when I was still younger and we were having our noche buenas together with my parents and my sister. It's been a while since I have been experiencing this type of Christmas yet all those times, I have not been immune to envy every time I am seeing those happy faces in the family pictures. I know I am not alone, cause I have God with me, yet I am still longing for the time when I can have my own family to be with me and celebrate Christmas and New Year together.